Asia

Look, until somewhere in the eighteenth century, the history of humanity owes more to Asia than Europe.  More humans reside now and have resided in the past in Asia.  Until the nineteenth century, Christianity was a minority religion.  Until the twentieth century, democracy was generally seen as lunacy.

Then, too,

I am a tired dense unhappy old fat man who's been handed one disappointment too many.  I have failed at everything I have tried to do in life.  That came home to me this weekend very powerfully.  I've reached the point, I just can't see any light at the end of the tunnel ever.  It's a cave and I've no way back and I just can't see going on into the dark. And yet I must.

Partly I was lied to.  Partly I liked believing the lies.  Partly I was stupid.  Partly I was too smart for my own good.  All I am left with is a cautionary tale that no one needs to hear, because the evils I can caution against are all gone.  And now I fear it's not just gone for me, but gone for us all. Gorbachev warns of a new Cold War; I warn of a new Dark Age, perhaps one that does not end, but surely will not end with democracy preserved.

Why should I care about democracy?  I do not truly believe in the equality of individuals, nor in self-determination except in the most trivial of matters.  The habits of childhood I suppose.  The desire to share the planet and not live so alone.  But alone is what there is.  And it cannot really be overcome, merely gone under. 

When does alone disappear?  When oneness disappears.  When we are subsumed by a multiple noun.  The chorus. The corps.  The team.  Only sex gives us no noun, unless we adopt the old euphemism: the two-backed beast.  Then we are not alone, but then, we are not ourselves.  To be a self is to be be alone.

See this is what I should be doing.  Here is where I find some bliss.  Not in my job.  But the day of the artist is over, or nearly so.  And the day of the philosopher is long gone. Philosophy was dying as I joined it and I died with it, without either of us noticing our death.

I want to share my dismal story.  I have kept it cooped up, pent in, unexpressed for so long.  Now no one cares.  No one wants to listen.  It is too hard for those near me.  Too dead for those who are not.

Forget I wrote this.  I will.

I don't do regret ...

... but I learned to day that the Ballantine Adult Fantasy series had been basically published one book a month from 1969 until 1974 and suddenly I am overwhelmed with remorse.  I have killed myself, only slowly.  It's hard to take, but it's true.

Aristotle was wrong about so many things

But chief among his errors appears to be the belief that humans are rational animals.

Biases and prejudices

I have spent the last two hours watching the History Channel's Mankind the Story of all of Us.  I am pissed off.  The series appears to be focused on Western European culture, not Asian culture although more humans have lived in Asia than any other continent.  The series also retrofits history to fit the prejudices of post-Enlightenment European thinking.  I wish I had the patience to go about this, and perhaps I shall on another night.  But just now, I need sleep.

Aging

I hear my dead father speaking out of my mouth. I see his hands, minus a scar ot two, typing on my keyboard. His thoughts echo in my head.

Can we avoid becoming our parents? Should we want to? Aging is such a tiring affair. If it could be avoided, it probably should be. The alternative, however, seems so self-limiting.

Thoughts on Campaign Funding

Donating money to candidates' campaign funds has been construed as free speech, and therefore, susceptible to very little in the way of regulation. Buying advertising, however, is not free speech; advertising is already regulated in many ways, and, clearly, since it is paid for, it is not really free. Thus, if donations are converted into advertising, the free speech becomes unfree speech. Thus, we may not be justified in regulating contributions, regulating how much of the contributions can be spent on advertising is, at least in principle, justifiable.

Blogging Again?

Every year, about this time, I try to blog. I'm going to try again. I have completely re-started my life since I first blogged here. Divorced, remarried, relocated three times, changed my career, changed my way of life. Maybe all that will get me going. Maybe not.

If You Don't Mind, Why Don't You Mind?

Did you read Dr. Todd's wonderful inquiry into the American state of mind? If not, please click on the title of this entry and do so, 'cause otherwise, I look like I'm arguing against a straw man, and I hate that. Todd Huffman is right to wonder why people don't mind. And in fact, people don't seem to mind. So, I'd like to try to answer the question, "Why not?" One, people don't mind is because they do not believe that the Democrats would be doing anything different. The Dems offer no sign of abandoning the petroleum and weapons-based economy that Jimmy Carter tried to begin weaning us from, but that nobody seemed to want to happen. At least, no members of the government. As long as we are dependent on petroleum, at some point, we will become dependent on the Middle East. I mean REALLY dependent. So, in order to avoid that, either war or diplomacy or something requires us to keep our nose stuck in the Middle East. So what would Hillary or Teddy or Joe or even Al really do that's profoundly different? Nothing. Or at least so people suspect. Two, the famous charge that the public has not been asked to sacrifice anything to fight this war appears at first look to be true. Hard for people to feel outraged when they don't understand that there's anything to be outraged about. Their sons and daughters are not being threatened by sudden immersion in combat, they don't see how their debt load is tied to the war, and many still believe gas prices will eventually come down because of the war. No, the need for outrage isn't completely apparent. Lastly, the public is too cowed to be outraged. The confidence to speak out has been undermined by the campaign of terror conducted by the White House, the belief in one's right to be outraged at anything other than 9/11 has been subverted through the same campaign. The war of terror is being won against the American people. Just not by Al-Qaida